It's been 5 months since I've update my blog. Due to the busy schedule of my school. And this post will be only be post by probably during my re-module semester of 2015, if only I am lucky enough to survive through the last 4 months with my tutorial classmates and so, most importantly is GROUP PROJECTS!!! People might be wondering why can't I post it now? It's because I doesn't want to make things worst and sour between the each other since we are still going to face each other for another 4 months because they are graduate. 

The reason why I'm typing it out now is because I'm afraid that I would have forgotten what I want to say. Today is 24 April 2015, Friday, after the last day of my 2nd last semester of school). It was supposed to be a pleasant and happy day for me, but after a 2 hours chat with my 'previous group' of people, I realised I have basically given them a lot of problems with projects work. YA, ME! Although I have sense it earlier on, but I just want to pretend that everything is going to be okay for me. But still, after the last paper of 23 April 2015, the group have a chat. Basically, they want to throw me out of the group. Why is it so? I will be elaborate below. This post would be definitely a long post. I have no idea if that group of friends or any or my classmates would be reading this blog post not, however, till the end there are people I would like to say a BIG TY! (NOTE: I will be continue blogging on 2016, after all 4 main paper + my re-modules paper)

Well, uni life is never easy. Why is it so? I actually have no thoughts of studying uni after completing diploma at PSB ACADEMY with a Cambridge Certificate of Business Administration. The idea stuck me for studying uni is because of my 2 sisters. Both of them are good in studying, whereas for me, is the lousier one. I'm not those kind of people would love studying, perhaps not in a mood to even study uni. Looking back at the graduated photo that display on my house wall, make me think that .. it's time for me to study uni for the sake of getting a better life in future? (Not really sure if I thought of that or just because I wanted to be the same position as my sister, eldest sis studies till MASTER, second sis is till degree level) 

First year of uni went great. I have friends who supported me, taught me about things I'm weak of. I would ask them to teach and explain to me whenever point I do not understand. However, after a certain period, I just can't find myself asking friends questions (such as, if I do not understand anything, I should be asking the lecturer or classmates for help right?) but, there are people who are like me, just don't like to bother people. Sigh, YES, I can't help myself too. 

When I failed my accounting and law paper earlier on during the first two semester, I already knew that university is not easy at all and I wanted to quit (my dad actually paid $6k). Yes, I know $6k is not a small figure, but did anyone know how I feel? I had explained to my friends that if I don't quit now, I would have wasted even more of my parents money and that isn't that worst? Let not say if I come from a good family, my dad owned a company or so whatever, that is not even the main question. The reason why I struggled so far its because my friends. Yes, indeed, its the group of friends who talk things out. Saying, I should give myself another chance to continue and I shouldn't have give up at that period of time. I kept thinking, how silly of me to actually listened to what he had told me. At that time I really should let myself go. Not saying I'm a person who give up easily, its better not to continue than struggling. I kept finding myself struggling and hanging in the air sometimes thinking why should I make myself feel so terrible and I agreed life is never early. I have a job once I graduated from diploma, at that time I don't feel like going to study uni too, but I still choose to leave the company. I knew great friends there too.  

The guy who told me that there are no stupid people in a world, only lazy people. Even though I am slow in understanding or even studies, he explained that I should find a way to make myself understand rather than just memorising it only. And also, he mentioned that I shouldn't be getting the same projects grades as them as I'm not even contributing a single thing. Even if I do, they still have to double check if I'm doing the correct things. Making them more stress and even busier. He even look down on me by saying lots of bad things or even a bad person I am. OF COURSE, many of them out there say that I should prove them wrong, without them, I am still will be able to pass all modules, study real hard for the next 4 modules! And those who thought that I can't get a good job, I would also prove them wrong! 

*That is the time I knew I can't do anything anymore, I'm tired of everything. Getting stupid, stress or even lazy? Sometimes, I don't even know what I want for myself. Giving up is not listed in my list. However, I do feel glad that in my whole family line, there are still people who did not complete ITE or even diploma. I am not the stupid people. Even though I came from a long journey, from N level, ITE, working life, PSB (diploma), working life again (temporary) and uni, I am glad that I've achieved what I always wanted to.  

I'm really grateful to those people who had step into my life, taught me. help me, assist me and many more, and to those who dump me, left me alone, I am also grateful. Because they let me know that I've to be independent, doing things alone, eating alone, and its just me! The last 4 months of my last semester in PSB wasn't a great one.